My battle with the sinus monster Part 1

So I have a sinus infection... I think. Why am I divulging this bit of information? Because I have decided to forego professional treatment and have a go at it homeopathically, and I want your advice. I used to get these pretty regularly and would always eventually just sign up for the antibiotic. It worked well for me, but I've been hearing a lot about super virus strains recently and don't want to contribute. Plus, I now have a copay on both Dr visits and meds that I would like to avoid.
After a bit of Internet research I hit the store today and got a Netti pot... oh joy... water up the nose.
I'm also avoiding sugar and dairy, drinking ginger lemon tea, sleeping my 7-8 hours, and engaging responsibly in garlic consumption.
There was a lot of advice to juice garlic, smear it on your feet, put cloves between your toes...
I'm just eating it minced in salads and stir frys.
Do you guys have any advice for me? I'm willing to try crazy non-uber-stinky stuff...
I will chronicle my battle with the sinus monster here publicly so as to discover whether or not it is possible to kill one of these things without antibiotics - here goes!

Independence

Wendell Berry speaks about environmental and societal problems, rebuking us for not taking personal responsibility for the care of our land and communities.

"The danger, in other words, is that people will think they have made a sufficient change if they have altered their "values," or had a "change of heart," or experienced a "spiritual awakening," and that such a change in passive consumers will necessarily cause appropriate changes in the public experts, politicians, and corporate executives... The trouble with this is that a proper concern for nature and our use of nature must be practiced, not by our proxy-holders, but by ourselves. A change of heart, or of values, without a practice is only another pointless luxury of a passively consumptive way of life. The "environmental crisis," in fact, can be solved only if people, individually and in their communities, recover responsibility... We have an "environmental crisis" because we have consented to an economy in which by, eating, drinking, working, resting, traveling, and enjoying ourselves we are destroying the natural, the God-given, world."


How often have I been the one who thought I had made a "sufficient change" because I cared about an abstract "environmentalism." In college in CA I was an "active" (attending) member of the environmental club. I spoke passionately about how we needed to care for our earth. Then one day when I had moved back to the Midwest it hit me. I didn't even recycle. (I actually don't right now either, I've been a bit disillusioned by it.) So, I began packing up all of my recycling from my cabin 15 minutes from my campus and sorting it into their recycling bins. Just that small step made me feel a bit more legitimate deep in my soul. Imagine how appalled I was the day the expose came out in our college paper that the college didn't actually recycle! Everything was put in the same dumpster.
But, Mr. Berry's point goes further than that. He calls us as a community to become less dependent on people we can't touch for our lives. He wants us to make and grow as much as we can and then buy the rest from locals. He wants us to take our elderly into our homes rather than putting them in impersonal state-run homes, to care for our neighbor's children rather than having them go to day care, even in organizing local entertainment rather than going to a movie theater. Through this he believes that real healing will come not only to our land, but also to our relationships and souls.

For me today this means that I am baking my own bread and line drying my families clothes. How does it look for you? (I know cheesy question to elicit reader response, but I truly am curious! I'm always looking for new ideas.)
to be continued...

true enjoyment of life.

"To enjoy a thing exclusively is commonly to exclude yourself from the true enjoyment of it." Thoreau

My husband and I are returning to a habit we began in Norway of reading aloud to eachother in the evenings. (While there we read the whole of the Lord of the Rings together. I know, we're a bit nerdy.) Last night we began Thoreau's essay entitled "Walking" that contained this quote. It convicts! This morning we read a corresponding passage in Mark. It spoke of the young rich man who obeyed the Judaic Law perfectly but could not bring himself to give all he had to the poor and follow Christ. My husband and I got into a discussion as to whether that is a universal and literal prescription for mankind; that we are to own nothing, and leave all to enter the kingdom, or whether it spoke to a mindset he had about possessions.

To enjoy a thing exclusively is to exclude yourself from the true enjoyment of it.
If you cannot leave all and follow me you will never enter the kingdom of God.

I do not believe that when Christ speaks of the kingdom of God that He is only referring to our after life experiences. I think His kingdom is also something to be entered into here on earth. It is fullness of life and joy. It is the beginning of the redemption of His broken people and land. His laws and teachings all guide us into that life eternal. He says it is hard for a rich man to enter into that kingdom. Relative to global situation we are wildly rich. Should we give away everything and find work with the poor as we intended? Or can we enter into that kingdom if we have hearts that value people over our possessions?

This question is intimately pertinent for us right now as my husband recently began a job in the world of investment banking. *See my post "My Story" for that strange tale. If Christ was speaking of his heart, then we can obey Him fully by having a house (someday) if we have an open doors policy and share empty beds with those emotionally and economically in need. We can make money if we give it away. Basically if we follow the principles from the Beatitudes that if we have two of something and see someone in need we ought to share, and to give to all who ask of us,then perhaps we can live obediently.

What have your experiences been as you have wrestled with these sorts of questions? I would love to hear your stories.

Thanksgiving 2

Proverbs 10:21 The lips of the righteous nourish many,
but fools die for lack of judgment.

The lips of the righteous use many different mediums to nourish -
internet, books, music, paintings...

Today I am grateful for these lips:

1.Marc Chagall - whose incredible paintings and stained glass inspire new worship in my soul, and inspired my husband and I's first kiss!
2. The blog "A Holy Experience". The author of this blog inspires me through simple and poetic words to see and listen for my Lord in every nook and cranny of everyday life. For her I am thankful.
3. William McDonough & Michael Braungart who wrote Cradle to Cradle, a great book that teaches us how to better care for our earth.
4. Derek Webb - this musical artist who was once a member of the popular group Caedmon's Call, has a prophetic voice that cuts to the heart of my faith and helps to radicalize and reform it.
5. The blog "A Fruitful Vine" that chronicles the story of a woman in my church whose husband is battling cancer. Its honesty and hope refresh me, while its raw pain brings me to tears. It reminds me of how precious my loved ones are and what a gift life and family are.
6. Laura Ingalls Wilder's beautiful Little House series is teaching me day by day about homes in the past, as I read Farmer Boy to my son. I love learning about how they filled their lives with such necessary and fulfilling work, even in their "leisure time" knitting and whittling. Wholesome.
7. The lips of my son, that give such sweet kisses that nourish my mother's heart.

Other things I am thankful for today:
8. The rain! Nourish, nourish, the little seedlings growing at my CSA. We are busy counting down the days until mid June when we start to receive weekly baskets of fresh and delicious, locally grown, organic vegetables. (Look into joining a CSA this summer. We LOVE ours.)
9. Our dear friends Jill and Alec who might be leaving us this summer for him to further his education. We mourn the fact that they might leave this area soon, but are grateful for their friendship and the opportunities they have for first rate education.
10. And my two wonderful grandma's who had birthdays last week!

Love thy neighbor as thyself.

If you have ever read the little blurb on my profile you will know that I am an idealist struggling to live out my values. I am terribly excited to be a wife and mother. Its funny, my husband keeps on looking at me and asking "When are you going to snap? I think of you as my splatter paint personalitied, hippy wife but now you have a Fly Lady journal, you keep the house clean and you're content to be a stay at home mom!" I realized today that being a stay at home mom in today's culture seems like the hippy thing to me! In today's women's lib culture this way of life is RADICAL, COUNTER CULTURAL, and something deep in me rejoices. I feel in a tiny way that I am connecting to the strong, adventurous women of our countries pioneering past who had to grow their own food, can things, sew their clothes, make their cleaning supplies, make all of their food from scratch, live on a dime. They all worked, and worked hard, but they weren't usually working outside of the home. Today so many people think of a stay at home mom either as an unintelligent, unmotivated, and unsophisticated mess, OR, as a snooty, country clubbing, latte drinking, (perhaps even husband hopping?) spoiled human being who contributes in no way to society. But, once someone has committed to many of the ideals espoused on my blog and others similar (natural living, healthy eating, frugality, simplicity, generosity, etc.) neither of those remain options. In reality this community of stay at home moms tend to be empowered and informed, creative, industrious and compassionate women.
Wooohhh... ok, time to get off my soap box. Sorry.
I love being a stay at home mom, but I don't want to become insular, ignoring my "neighbor" in need because I am so engrossed in my own family. Recently I applied to volunteer with a local ministry to refugees but something got stuck in the wheel and the process moved very slowly. In that time it hit me that my "neighbor" in need, can be my ... drum roll please... neighbor! Who of us live in places where no one around us could use help financially or emotionally or in some other way? Why don't we start by caring for those directly around us? I'm not saying that we should only do that as I am aware that there are some people in the world who probably would not end up getting cared for properly in that system since some whole countries are in deep need. But still, it is a good place to start.
Since my husband and I have chosen to keep our housing costs as low as possible right now we are in an apartment building where many of the people are below the poverty line and on some sort of government assistance. We realized that when our next door neighbor generously offered to take us to all the local food pantries etc. obviously assuming that we would need it. She taught us about generosity by giving us all of her son's outgrown clothes. I recognized some ugly pride in myself when it was very hard to accept them from her. A little voice in me wanted to shout, "No, I'm WELL OFF, I'm choosing this life right now, it hasn't been forced on me. I should help you, not the other way around!" That moment humbled me as I realized how far I still need to go in becoming a true servant (quite, quite, far really, just ask my husband, or my son once he learns to speak in sentences!) I have in turn had many chances to return her kindness; filling up a gas tank for her when they were out of money in between pay days, taking her son to school when their car was broken or she was out of town helping a friend who was having custody problems with her child, and trying in my broken and stumbling way to explain to her that Christ was the reason for my actions. I have no idea if she was able to understand me, or if she cared, but I am glad that I said it. Especially now that she was just arrested for drug use (turned in by her husband) and her kids were taken away. We don't really understand whats going on there, but need to figure out how to help.
Our informer was another neighbor we have recently met. A round little African American girl who showed up at my door the other day to borrow some milk to make her macaroni. She then asked "If it wasn't too much trouble could she come in and look around?" and then "My mom doesn't get her government check until the end of the week. Could I have some change to go across the street and get some snacks from the vending machine for school tomorrow?" I gave her the change but then asked her if she couldn't possibly get something healthier for her snack. She said, "Well, I get chips, they're healthy right?" When I shook my head she asked, "Should I get HoneyBuns? Would they be healthier?" I sighed and smiled and doled out some of our precious fruit for her snack. I then made a decision. I asked her if she would like to come over a few times a week to help out a bit with my chores and watching my son in exchange for healthy snacks, ( I thought it might be good for her character and her pride to have to work a bit for her food.) She's lonely and jumped at the chance and we have now been doing that every day this week. Yesterday she helped me make soup for dinner (she loves to cook) and took out my trash. In return she got two clementines and celery sticks with all natural peanut butter. Her mom also stopped by during the day for some cinnamon so I got to talk to her for about half an hour after giving her our extra jars of spices that we were given by my grandparents. She talked about her church downtown and her desire to have her daughter take music lessons. She ranted about her ex-husband who wasn't sending child support and the government who only sent $224 in food stamps every month. She wondered if I could take her daughter to her saxophone lessons across town once a week.
All of this has led me to ask more questions and work through more heart issues. The hard thing about giving to neighbors is that you can't "leave them at the door" like you could with other ministries. You go home to them every night. They can knock on your door and ask for more at any time. I am learning to give more, but I am also learning boundaries. Yes, if I have two of something and you are in need I will give my extra. (But, why is she in need when we make do with a $160 monthly food budget (and that's with a 25% increase in the past few months), and she gets $65 more dollars a month for a family the same size?) Yes, you are lonely. You can come spend time with us in the afternoons and "help out." But, no, you can't stay all afternoon, we need some alone time. And yes I do now lock my doors since I know people around me know we have a MacBook etc, when before I didn't lock them. Is that wrong? should I trust more?
I don't know.
I am sorry that this was such a long post, but I have a lot going through my head that I wanted to share. Does anyone have any advice for me? I know Christ says I am to "Love my neighbor as myself." So pray for me as I dive into figuring out what that looks like!
And, I will keep sharing esp. as we begin our Thursday night neighbor dinners where we hope to get to know a new neighbor or two every week!

Simplify to find freedom

(This is adapted from a comment I left on Money Saving Moms blog about simplifying.)

After reading ideas on blogs recently about CVS and coupons I have felt a rush of adrenaline - "oh fun! what a challenge! what a way to save money with grocery prices rising so quickly." But then I talked to my husband and realized that we not only try to keep things simple financially and clutterwise in our home, we also try to keep our lives simple in general. Bargain shopping for me I think would become something to just clutter up my time and mind.
The way that I have found useful to save money is in simplifying our home. Our monthly costs are low bc we live in an inexpensive apt, keep lights off during all but the gloomiest days, don't own a microwave (saves on electric), we dont have clocks (again saves on electric and changes perspective too!), we only have cell phones no land lines, we also dont have a tv which saves electricity, the intial cost of purchase, hours of mindless entertainment, and the extra costs of things like cable etc. When we do watch movies its on our Macbook (a splurge for Ben's grad school and work) that are borrowed from the library that we walk to down the street, and we are very careful to return them on time so the fines don't start adding up.
A way we have found to save money in the kitchen is by not buying meat, I am a vegetarian and my husband only eats meat served to him outside of the home. We don't replace meat with expensive fancy veg options, we just eats lots of vegetables, whole grains, and legumes.
I hate the cheap chemically options of things so I have started making my own cleaning supplies, skin care prod and toothpaste out of simple things like hydrogen peroxide, baking soda, and lemon juice and I have to say my skin is actually glowing through this pennies and dimes treatment!
We only buy clothes from thrift stores (and i'm trying to only get them when we need them after a recent pep talk from my husband!). We try to mend broken things rather than replacing them, have one car that we try to use as little as possible and instead get exercise from walking and biking. This all has enabled us to live on my husband's start up salary while letting me stay at home with my son while we pay off school loans. I never feel deprived by any of these choices. Start paring down and you'll be surprised by how little you miss and how much you enjoy your new freedom. Plus its fun and empowering to learn to make things from scratch!

The art of informal hospitality PART 1

My husband and I both find deep satisfaction in inviting people into our homes and creating for them a sense of community and loving family. We meet deeply in that common joy and therefore I want to chronicle our stumbling attempts; give advice where I have it, and seek in turn to learn your stories and wisdom in this matter.

PART 1
When my husband and I moved into our first apartment after returning from our summer-long excursion backpacking Europe two and a half years ago we were hungry for community. As we had never had the blessing of having friends who were also married (or even dating!) we were absolutely delighted to begin forming a friendship with the couple in the apartment across from ours. I had known Emily for most of my life since our moms had been roomates at Wheaton but we had only interacted during occasional reunions esp after Emily's family moved to Alaska. Our paths crossed again at Wheaton college but we lived separate lives where in her words we were only "hi" friends. But, all of a sudden we had all of this shared experience to bond over; both newlyweds married a day apart, childhood friends, parents with history, same college, etc etc. We loved those first awkward dinners and game nights where we strove to dive into relationship. We were both so hungry for couple friends. Then Ben began to invite other young couples from our complex to join us for dinner once a week. After our initial shyness wore off joy abounded. All of a sudden 6 couples had a community where before they had been aliens in a new land!
We finally had those neighbors we could pop over to to borrow a cup of sugar, or a movie, or invite to an impromptu picnic in the courtyard. We shared life together; them watching me as my stomach grew to the size of a barn during those sweltering August days. Them surrounding us and sending dinners and cookies and free babysitting as we adjusted to the 9 lb 7 ozs of screaming new life in our home. We discussed theology and ancient languages; hermeneutics and philosophy in the common context of grad school. We learned the art of squeezing 12 people into a small apartment and cooking a big, healthy and inexpensive meal without getting stressed out. We had SO much fun that year, learning to live life together.

All it took was the initial awkwardness of stopping someone in the hall or on a sidewalk, getting to know them, and inviting them into our home. I challenge you to enrich your lives by practicing the spiritual discipline of hospitality.

to be cont...